Social Dynamics

It has often been said that “no man is an island”. In a general sense this is true, but try arguing the point here—in India, that is Bharat—the land of Rishis and Gurus and you are sure to come a cropper. However, I still maintain that “family” is the mainstay of society and the rock on which social systems are built. If the “family” it strong, it will not only survive the endless onslaught of civil society, but also hold fast to the tenets of love, of giving and not asking for recompense, of fellowship (or kinship), alongside a sense of awe which makes us realize—when we are finally ready—that we are, ultimately, just dust in the wind. If we are able to nurture and imbibe such wisdom, at some point in our fleeting lives, we will also come to understand that we are not alone.

When you throw a stone into a pool of still water, you will find that a ripple effect expands outwards, though the stone that caused it has already sunk to the bottom. “Family” is like that stone, gone and, for the most part, forgotten. The ever-widening circles on the surface of the waters are like the social institutions that garner our attention. These associations may include the extended family, the social circle that we feel most comfortable in, the friends in our immediate neighbourhood, our colleagues at work or play, our strong (or malleable) political affiliations, our own kind of people (caste, community, congregation), and our understanding of the prevalent Zeitgeist, or even Weltanschauung. All these social interactions may or may not provoke trenchant reactions, so it is very advisable to keep your emotions in check: up to this point in time, no-one and nothing can keep your thoughts from roaming where they will.

Quite often, our religious upbringing leads us astray—the “us” versus “them” debate, that boils over into the realm of right and wrong. Religion still holds sway almost everywhere you go and inappropriate behaviour, or dress, or tone of voice, or even colour or physical size may attract scorn, or ridicule, or harsh, spiteful words from the aggrieved individual. Fortunately, such happenings are not too frequent, because the predator—and offender—relies on support from the pack. All too often we have witnessed—silently—the butchery of politeness and decency and humanity, because vested interests have their own private agendas.

What I am trying to get at, dear Reader, is that we, ordinary mortals, are swayed too easily by this or that or the other scheme coughed up by the powers that be. We, too, are led astray by promises and pacts and posturing. Are we really the “hollow men” that the poet foresaw, “headpiece[s] filled with straw”? Or is there still hope for a more equitable future? Your guess is as good as mine!

Only recently I discovered that the divine laws of tenancy are to be drastically changed. Gone are the days of expecting and demanding that rents and utilities be paid on time. The eleventh commandment, regarding rented property reads: “Thou [meaning “tenant”] shalt not speak to thy neighbour, or thy neighbour’s wife, or to thy neighbour’s parents, or to thy neighbour’s children, to the fourth or fifth generation”. Whatever are we coming to? When I heard the dictum, I was astounded. Thinking about it over the last few days, I have come to the conclusion that the decree sounded perfectly sound; sound because the person who formulated it was of an unsound mind!

So, the concept of “love thy neighbour” has been disbanded, once and for all. The English writer, EM Forster, in one of his essays, tells us frankly, that it is next to impossible to love thy neighbour. Instead, he said, try “Tolerance”. When your neighbour becomes your enemy, what do you need friends for? Think deeply on these things, dear Readers, for the time is nigh.